How to Raise a Baby Alone

How to be everywhere and not lose anything

Nowadays, a single-parent family has become something of a norm. At the same time, the socio-historical portrait of the mother has changed. Literally a century ago, a woman was the protector of the family hearth, her interests, as a rule, did not go beyond the home space.

Representatives of the "weaker sex" have taken on the role of breadwinner and head of the family, and this trend is observed in many complete families. A woman confidently wins back male privileges: she participates in political life, is engaged in science, opens and successfully runs her own business.

All household chores are handled by household appliances that cook, wash dishes, and do laundry themselves. First, a kindergarten is engaged in raising children, then a school. It seems that everything is arranged as it should be. But in reality, it turns out completely differently. Of course, clothes don't care who washes them, but does a child care who raises him?

Instead of a living family, its ghost appears, which does not give a sense of security and stability. A child from a single-parent family is in dire need of support, attention and understanding. Of course, this does not mean that you should give up on your career. Just do not forget to take breaks, take days off, devote free time to your child.

Do time management: plan your day in advance, make a schedule and try to strictly follow the schedule. Thanks to time management, you will successfully pursue a career and pay enough attention to your family.

Where is my dad?

A child often asks questions: where do children come from, why is the grass green and the sky blue? A little why-why who grows up in a single-parent family will definitely ask, where is dad? Often families break up when the child has already grown up. However, this does not mean that the teenager will not want to discuss with the parent why the father left.

Many women experience such questions painfully. Keep yourself in hand, do not show the child that you do not like this topic. Calmly explain why the breakup occurred. For the first conversation, you can get by with general phrases: for example, we decided that we should live separately. Some women begin to blame the child for the divorce, saying that you cried a lot, prevented dad from sleeping, so he left us. The mother hopes to instill a dislike for the father, but instead makes the child complexed, indecisive and timid. Also, you cannot tell the baby that he is unwanted. Imagine what a blow this will be to his psyche.

Never try to turn your child against his father! Never call your ex-husband swear words, do not speak about him in a disparaging tone.

A child should respect his father, because he, like his mother, is a life guide, the highest value for a growing member of society. Always remember that he will build his own family on your example, so try to maintain friendly relations with your ex-husband, do not recall past grievances. At least occasionally spend time "with the whole family".

This is my child!

Many women traumatize the psyche of a little person with fairy tales about the father, wanting to protect their child from this "monster". Perhaps you did not like him as a husband, but this does not mean that the child will not like him as a parent. Give them a chance to get closer and love each other.

Among the most common mistakes made by single mothers are the following:

• a woman forbids a man to see and communicate with the baby. "Sunday dad" will certainly not replace a father who lives with a child under the same roof. However, you must agree that this is better than nothing;
• When asked "Where is dad?" the parent begins to tell that the father was a pilot/sailor/cosmonaut and did not return after another dangerous mission. The child will believe such fairy tales until he grows up. Imagine how offended and disappointed he will be when he realizes that he has been deceived all this time. In the end, you will have to tell the truth, but you will not regain the teenager's trust in you;
• A woman who is left a widow gives up her personal life, devoting herself entirely to work and children. However, the child needs a father, and a stepfather can become a wonderful family man. Of course, before such a step, you need to talk to your baby, explain the whole situation and ask his advice. Talk to the child as an adult, on an equal footing. Do not consider his opinion to be secondary. Together you will find the right solution;
• a single mother demonizes her father in the eyes of her son or daughter. Often, the woman herself does not realize that she is ruining the child's attitude towards her father. She is so overwhelmed by emotions that she automatically says swear words to her ex-husband. When the child begins to call his father a "goat", the woman, as a rule, realizes her mistake.

By demonizing her father, a woman undermines the status of the entire male gender. As a result, the son may become imbued with deep mistrust and dislike for everything connected with the world of men, and the daughter may be unhappy in love and family life in the future.

How to properly raise a child without a father

Here we will talk mainly about boys, for whom it is more difficult than for girls to grow up without a dad. Naturally, the daughter also looks up to her father, but she is still closer to her mother.

There are several simple recommendations that will help raise a real man in a single-parent family:

• do not interfere with your son's communication with his father, help them find a common hobby that would bring them closer: fishing, sports games, tourism. Spend at least a little time in the company of your ex-husband and son;
• talk to your child about what he wants to do: martial arts, football, swimming, etc. A good coach will be an excellent role model. Your son is growing up courageous and responsible;

Don't try to keep the child near your skirt! Give him more freedom. If you suppress the boy, he will grow up timid and indecisive. Is this how a real man should be?

forget about excessive care and indulgence in all the whims of your son. From an early age, give him tasks that he can handle, teach him responsibility and restraint. You can give your child the dog he wanted so much, but be sure to tell him that caring for the pet falls entirely on his shoulders. Help him, but do not take on all the work that your son should do.

Always remember that you are one family, and be happy!